How (Not) to Write an Article

So, dear Wanderers, I bet some of you are wondering just how things get done over here at HQ what with our Editor who chucks stuff at us [Not true -Ed.], the occasional snarkiness on Twitter, and the general mischief and hijinks that we seem to get up to when we ought to be writing.

Well, wonder no more! Your friendly neighbourhood Z is going to give you a brief look into how to write an article for Fandom Wanderers! With this you can see our general brilliance, and truly, learn how to emulate these writers you have come to known and like. I hope. You do like us don’t you? I mean, I guess you do ’cause you’re still reading but for all I know this is some sick, twisted pleasure for you and I should stop before I send people to bad mental spaces. On to the HOW TO!

  • DON’T WORRY ABOUT TIME LIMITS – We have just about roughly, oh let’s say, 13 days between issues to get our stuff written. This is clearly far too much time and better spent playing endless hours of Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.
  • WATCH TV/MOVIES– This could technically count as research for an article, but let’s face it, you’re never going to write something about Jeremy Kyle; you just watch it for the lulz after all. Or you could marathon that show that everyone is going on about. Maybe just one episode, or two, or three, and suddenly it’s 4 in the morning and now you’re seriously craving pie and wanting to grab the salt just in case.
  • WRITE EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD – Seriously, that essay you’ve been putting off? Now’s the perfect time to make a start on it. Got an idea for a fic? Bash it out, my fellow fic writers, share your genius with the world!
  • ORGANISE YOUR SOCK DRAWER – No one likes messy socks, pair those flippers up man, don’t leave ’em lonely.
  • SLEEP – Take it from me, long lazy cat naps are the best things in the world. Just curling up in front of your laptop, or tv, or with a good book, and letting your eyes droop and drop and taking you away to never never land. … Okay, I couldn’t resist the Sandman reference, I’ll try to stop that.

Z McAspurren (No, but, seriously, don’t do any of this or your Editor will be angry and an Angry Ed is an Ed to be feared)

[Yes, I do check the articles before they go out – a fact dear Z seems to have forgotten – but since I’ve run out of things to throw and this seemed entertaining enough, I decided to allow it. They’ve got to work their energy off somehow, after all. Still, I apologise to anyone who was hoping for useful tips this issue, and promise that we’ll be back to our usual sanity levels next week. Admittedly, that’s not saying much. -Ed.]

This entry was posted in FW Tips, Issue Nineteen and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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